Welcome to the world, baby Maui :-)

Meet my son, Maui Jonathan Budd. 

Born on Tues, Sept, 5 at 5:09pm...

He was a whole 5lbs 9oz, and totally perfect in every way. 

I'm sharing my birth story here in hopes that it gives women a full spectrum of stories about birth. We so often see birth depicted in the movies, or hear horror stories, with all that could go wrong. And sadly, at times things are challenging and can go wrong.

But I wish to help also portray an empowering vision of birth so that all women who read this know they have options when it comes to how we choose to birth our babies. There is no right way, there is only the way that is right for you.

And this is our story... 

It was 4:04am on Tuesday, Sept. 5. And suddenly I awoke to a wet feeling in my bed. I did the math in my head quickly... am I at my due date? or close? No way, couldn't be.

So I got up and went to the bathroom and sure enough... water started gushing. 

I was shocked!

It was 3 weeks from my due date, and though I knew my son would be early (always felt that from the beginning) I didn't think he would come THIS early.

I instantly thought of all the things I still needed to complete in work before I could have this baby. I at first denied this could be possible.

Another gush of water. 

Ok, I guess this is happening... I better go get Jonathan.

I went back into our bedroom and woke Jonathan up.

"Um, honey... I'm pretty sure my water just broke and I'm going into labor."

Jonathan replied, "Wait, what?! What's today's date?!" (my first thoughts too)

"Yes, it's early. But I'm pretty sure this is happening. So let's get our shit together and get ready fast! Can you call the midwife?"

Suddenly I realized I hadn't even saved the midwife's pager number in my phone, nor had we received the home birth kit yet, nor had we brought in the bassinet or baby stuff from storage... I had not even nested yet!!

But with some searching I found her number and we called Andrea, our midwife. She was calm and centered, and assured me not to worry. She checked my date of conception and due date and said that because I was just at 37 weeks, I could still birth at home as we had planned. Any earlier and I would have had to go the hospital. 

I had given birth to Luna, our daughter, in our Moonlight Beach home 3 1/3 years ago, and it was a beautiful experience that I definitely wanted to create again in our new home. I only wanted to go to the hospital if absolutely necessary, and birthing at home felt right, natural, and totally comfortable for me. I was grateful to know I was still safe to birth at home and that my midwife felt totally comfortable with it as well.

My labor with Luna was rather fast and intense, about 7 hours total, and seemed to fly right by. Luna was also 2 weeks early, and also a small baby at 5lbs 12oz. I also awoke at 4am to my water breaking in bed with her, however my contractions started almost immediately after that. 

In my second time around, my water broke at 4:04am, and my contractions started about an hour later. I had 12 hours of laboring in our home, in our bedroom and in a sacred space we had planned to birth our son, and had plenty of time to prepare my body, mind, and heart for this little soul joining us.

Once we hung up with the midwife and she was on her way to come check things out, Jonathan and I went back to bed together and held each other as my contractions started to come on. We processed our fears and concerns about him coming so early, and about all the things we were going to have to reschedule and move around.

We had both planned pretty much the busiest work week of our year to complete all we needed to complete before he came. That plan was now out the window, and there was much to be moved around. I had planned a book launch to release my new book, and there was A LOT that went into getting everything ready for our release date. 

But alas... life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. :-)

So as my contractions were coming on slowly and steadily, I had an opportunity to either stress and constrict myself, or to surrender and trust that everything was going to be OK.

After we had some time to share, connect, and process... we both decided to move into a place os surrender and trust. My body was wise. The soul of this little baby was wise. I could either trust that this was all happening in perfect timing, or I could go into my labor with stress, worry, and concern. And I was not willing to do that and take away from the sacredness of this experience. 

So I let it go. I trusted life. I decided to welcome my baby with open arms and love.

And for the next several hours, I was in a state of deep reverence for my body, and felt a very calm, focused power inside me.

I felt a lot of intensity, but I let the waves move through me as a reminder that I was one step closer to meeting my next great love.

I cried tears of joy as I labored every time I thought about holding him for the first time, knowing the love I had felt for my daughter was just going to be doubled and amplified having two children. Every time I felt it was getting painful, I invited myself to lean into the pain rather than resist it, and to trust my body's wisdom with every breath. 

I kept reminding myself that this didn't have to be hard, it could be an experience of intensity, yes... but with pure grace and ease rather than pain and suffering.

And the day went on as such.

As we got closer and closer, the contractions kept up and got stronger, and I used every tool I knew to use. Breath, sound, singing, chanting, moving my body any way I felt called to, and visualizing my hips, cervix, and yoni all opening safely and easily to allow our baby to make his way into this world. I experimented with the tone of my voice to find what sound made my body open more, and when I would land on it, I would feel the opening happen miraculously. Sometimes the sound I chose was pure silence, which held tremendous potency as well. 

And my husband was such a rockstar birth partner. He stood by me as my rock, every step of the way, and kept reminding me how strong I was, how powerful I was, and how great of a job I was doing. We were connected through the whole experience, and this was one of the greatest gifts of all. 

I had my mother in law, sister, best friend, 2 nieces, and daughter (for brief moments) all present there to support me and encourage me. It was like a multi-generational ritual to welcome our new family member. 

And so we went...

I kept leaning into the intensity. I let go of tension and resistance with each exhale, and I embraced the love I felt in my heart for my son. I let it keep me motivated every time I felt it was too much. 

And at 5:09pm, out our boy came. A few deep breaths and pushes, and he was out. I didn't have to struggle, I didn't have to fight, I just had to focus and relax my body as I used all the strength I had inside to move him through. 

It was by far the most empowering experience I have ever had in my life. I created, grew, and birthed life (mostly all in that same room!) and my body knew exactly what to do every step of the way. 

My midwife and her two birth assistants were incredible. They stood watch, making sure all was safe and healthy and kept taking vitals and tests as needed, and let me do my thing through the whole day. They trusted me and my body too, and didn't once try to tell me how to labor or to move along faster. They let me listen deeply to what my body already knew, and gently helped me through empowering my own inner wisdom. 

The truth is... I spent a lot of my life not trusting my body, and not believing in my inherent wisdom inside. Many of us as women are taught not to listen to ourselves, and encouraged to look outside for what the outside world wants us to do or be.

The births of my two children have both taught me to trust myself deeper, and both allowed me to see what I am made of, like nothing ever has before. I connected to a power that we all hold inside of us as women that is beyond a miracle, and out of this world magical. And we all have it. 

Birth is a rite of passage, and I had stepped through it once again. 

I have been recovering well within this sleep warped new baby land, and have been spending the past two weeks getting to know our little guy. He has mostly slept around the clock, though has given us some sleepless nights and fussy moments already. We are learning about who he is, and ready to receive what it is he is here to teach us. 

I have had beautiful support from our friends and family helping us in this time with meals, and my soul sister mama friends have generously shared ancient and powerful wisdom for how I can best recover, heal, and embrace the magic during this sacred window after birth. 

Our boy is perfect in every way, and I am grateful beyond words for my new little family, and all the support that has surrounded us in this time. We are just two weeks in, and the newborn and early months have their share of challenges. I know in time we'll have more lessons to share as we embark on this new leg of the journey of parenthood and family once again. 

Thank you for sharing this experience with me, and please share this with any other women who you feel would be empowered by it. 

With much love,

Laura

xoxo

 p.s. Luna sure loves her new little brother, too :-)